Part -2
After what seemed to be a
lifetime,she finally gathered enough courage to get up from her bed on which
she had been lying for the last two hours crying uncontrollably. She got up and
sat. Again the scene on the terrace flashed across her mind and her lips
startled to tremble,forcing out tears from her already swollen eyes red with
crying.She knew she had to be strong.Enough of fooling herself.Enough of
believing,trusting blindly now.Enough of being innocent and weak.No more was
she going to give in to the situation now.She had had enough now.She calmed
herself down,continuously rubbing the top of her hand with another hand.Her
tears were not ready to yet vacate her eyes.Yet her mind had already attained
the state to be functioning again.Numerous things were running now through her
mind.Many things starting to make sense now which once had seemed fake and
absurd to her when others had told her.But still,even now,even after coming
face to face with the reality,a part of her heart still yearned to prove her
eyes wrong.Her heart still wanted to believe that whatever she saw wasn’t
true.Her mind tried as hard as it could to make her understand but her
stupid,stubborn heart just wasn’t ready to accept anything.Again it started
knitting its web trapping her inside a fake world making her believe that
everything she saw tonight maybe was not actually true.Maybe he was not at all
wrong.Maybe he did no mistake after all.She, for once again,like the numerous
times,started rationalizing with her own self telling herself that no,maybe
afterall it wasn’t him that I saw!Maybe
it wasn’t actually what I thought was happening!Of course he loves me,didn’t he
say that?Yes, loves me.He had said that he won’t be leaving me no matter what!and
so her heart trailed her off the truth into some other world of her own.A world
she had created herself to escape the harsh truths that had been told to her by
people about him.A world where her own useless reasons existed which in every
way defended each of his mistake.A world where for every mistake of his,she had
blamed herself for not believing him rather than others.And for once more,she
had started drifting towards that world.She knew she was fooling herself but it
had all started to seem so easy now.She was already starting to feel relaxed
entering into this world of hers, where
she believed he can never be wrong and so here it was.She changed the truth
now.She rejected the reality.She made herself believe in every possible reason
that could exist to justify him.She made herself believe in the false now.As
she sat there,reasoning with her ownself in every possible way,her mind once
again tried and revolted against her heart and flashed the scene on the terrace
before her.Wherever she had been trying to reach with her unending reasons for
him to be correct,the memory served its purpose of pulling her back from the
clutches of her decieving heart and bringing her to par with the truth.For once
again,her state of mind and the pain in her heart began to break her bit by bit as she
slowly rolled down on to the bed,pressing her face deep into the pillow and
once again for that night,her emotions emerging out as unending tears and sobs.
No comments:
Post a Comment