An inflicted heart, a scathed soul, a feeling of betrayal, a demand for the verity gave her enough reasons to proceed towards her destination of confrontation with determination glinting in her sorrowfull eyes.A determination to bring an end to this relationship of deceipt and grief.A relationship where she gave herself away entirely yet failed terribly even though the mistake wasn't hers.
Leaving her room to the washroom to wash her face,she started thinking as to how she should start the conversation when she finally comes across him.Entering the washroom and looking up into the mirror, she was horrified to look at the face staring back at her.Eyes red and puffed,skin as dry and coarse as it could,lips swollen in a pout,hair all dishevelled,she could not trust to believe her eyes.Is this really me?What have i done to myself?Why have i done this to myself for someone who doesn't deserve my love,let alone this pitiable face of mine!She bent down into the wash basin,cupping both her hands to fill with water and then splashed the water on her face.Her eyes cringed with irritation as the salt residued from her tears came into contact with water.The situation was very much similar to the turn that her life had taken.She had residued herself just like that dry salt and crippled, nothing affecting it in anyway, all senseless until a sudden splash of water brought back the salt to its true worth.The salt had reacted to the water.Now was her turn.
She washed her face, and applied a thick line of kaajal into her eyes so that the puffiness and redness could be hidden under those dark black outlines.After setting her hair into a nearly satisfactory state,she looked at the image of herself again and this time a much better look greeted her.She smiled at her own little achievement for the day feeling proud of herself, thinking so strong she was to go through so much and yet smile.
As she came out of her house, she saw him coming out of his and quickly hid herself behind the wall that separated his area of house from hers.She waited until he left in the lift,her body going all over weak again!No.You have to be strong.Not this time.Go ahead.A part of her wanted to retreat even now.But the determination in her mind today was strong enough to not be restrained.
She walked undeterred to her address where an important landmark of her life waited.She went up the stairs which she had climbed down yesterday.Standing at the entrance of the terrace,her heart started thumping telling her to retreat.Again the same pain she had had in her body yesterday while leaving the terrace overtook her.She tried to calm herself down as she took a step ahead and went out in the open on the terrace.
There he was,she could see.The least changed.Busy typing something in his mobile,he didn't notice her.But she did.Every cell in her mind was busy registering the details of him as they always did.The black coloured shirt he wore.The faded colour of the jeans that clinged to his waist.His face,his hair as handsome as ever.She, for once again was numb at his sight and couldn't do anything to proceed ahead.He looked up to her sensing her presence around him.For that beautiful moment,his eyes met hers.Her heart skipped a beat.His heart rolled atleast a hundred times.Her heart cringed at his sight not wanting to let go of this perfect pair of eyes.His eyes softened at the beautiful eyes wanting to savour them for as long as possible.Her mind ventured off studying his face, the perfectly shaped nose, those meliorated lips, the unshaved facial hair that made him all the more attractive that afternoon.His mind could think of nothing but the pain he saw in her eyes giving him a clear idea that something was wrong.
He took a few steps towards her,while she stood their numb, not knowing how to start, fighting against her tears which threatened to spill out any moment now.
He opened his mouth to say something but then, instead of speaking,sensing her state of mind, he went ahead and hugged her.Wrapped her tightly in his arms.And she gave up.She hugged him back tightly and broke down.Seeing her cry, the pain took no time to travel across his face.He held her protectviely consoling her throughout thinking of every possible reason that could have made her upset.Only he not aware of what it actually was.
After a long time,she finally stopped and let go of him, as her senses brought her back from where she had been captivated for once by her love for him.
He made her sit down on the pavement dividing the terrace into two part and asked her softly taking her hand into his, "Baby,now tell what is it?"
She couldn't even look up to him, forget speaking.
"Tell me love, what happened?Everything ok?"
Ok?NO!Nothing is ok.My world just felt apart yesterday after what i saw.And today i am going to end our relationship.I cried the entire night yesterday,woke up to a terrible me this morning and broke down here in front of you just now because of the inner turmoil i am going through!NOTHING IS OK!she wanted to shout this out loud yet no words came out of her mouth.She sat there silently looking down, not able to meet his gaze.
Seeing no reply coming from her,he understood she was not in a state to speak and needed to be comforted , put his hand around her shoulder and tilted his head against hers.His gesture weakened her entirely.
"Is there something you ought to tell me?" she asked him now, resting her head on his shoulders,crushing herself as tightly as she could against him,wanting him to stay that way forever although she knew just a few moments more and they would be apart forever.
"Evrything you know sweetheart.Nothing that i have to tell."
"Think again.You might be just missing out on something."
"No baby.Nothing."
"Did i ever hurt you?" she asked,her voice beginning to tremble,tears rollling out once again.
"Never baby.You never did...." he trailed off sensing this was something to do with him and then spoke again...
"But i do have hurt you earlier quite a few times and this time again your tears have something to do with me.Right?" He held her more tightly now.
Ok.Now speak up and tell him everything.It will be now or never.She commanded.
"Yes" a voice came out,as inaudible as it could be from her.
"Please tell me what?"
"why are you this way?Stop being so caring and considerate or else i will never be able to say anything."
"I can't stop being considerate about you.Tell me what has happened?"
"Ok.Fine.i have to be hard now and i will."she replied firmly as she raised her head from his shoulder and stood up from where she was sitting to face him.She wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand and the dissension began.
Leaving her room to the washroom to wash her face,she started thinking as to how she should start the conversation when she finally comes across him.Entering the washroom and looking up into the mirror, she was horrified to look at the face staring back at her.Eyes red and puffed,skin as dry and coarse as it could,lips swollen in a pout,hair all dishevelled,she could not trust to believe her eyes.Is this really me?What have i done to myself?Why have i done this to myself for someone who doesn't deserve my love,let alone this pitiable face of mine!She bent down into the wash basin,cupping both her hands to fill with water and then splashed the water on her face.Her eyes cringed with irritation as the salt residued from her tears came into contact with water.The situation was very much similar to the turn that her life had taken.She had residued herself just like that dry salt and crippled, nothing affecting it in anyway, all senseless until a sudden splash of water brought back the salt to its true worth.The salt had reacted to the water.Now was her turn.
She washed her face, and applied a thick line of kaajal into her eyes so that the puffiness and redness could be hidden under those dark black outlines.After setting her hair into a nearly satisfactory state,she looked at the image of herself again and this time a much better look greeted her.She smiled at her own little achievement for the day feeling proud of herself, thinking so strong she was to go through so much and yet smile.
As she came out of her house, she saw him coming out of his and quickly hid herself behind the wall that separated his area of house from hers.She waited until he left in the lift,her body going all over weak again!No.You have to be strong.Not this time.Go ahead.A part of her wanted to retreat even now.But the determination in her mind today was strong enough to not be restrained.
She walked undeterred to her address where an important landmark of her life waited.She went up the stairs which she had climbed down yesterday.Standing at the entrance of the terrace,her heart started thumping telling her to retreat.Again the same pain she had had in her body yesterday while leaving the terrace overtook her.She tried to calm herself down as she took a step ahead and went out in the open on the terrace.
There he was,she could see.The least changed.Busy typing something in his mobile,he didn't notice her.But she did.Every cell in her mind was busy registering the details of him as they always did.The black coloured shirt he wore.The faded colour of the jeans that clinged to his waist.His face,his hair as handsome as ever.She, for once again was numb at his sight and couldn't do anything to proceed ahead.He looked up to her sensing her presence around him.For that beautiful moment,his eyes met hers.Her heart skipped a beat.His heart rolled atleast a hundred times.Her heart cringed at his sight not wanting to let go of this perfect pair of eyes.His eyes softened at the beautiful eyes wanting to savour them for as long as possible.Her mind ventured off studying his face, the perfectly shaped nose, those meliorated lips, the unshaved facial hair that made him all the more attractive that afternoon.His mind could think of nothing but the pain he saw in her eyes giving him a clear idea that something was wrong.
He took a few steps towards her,while she stood their numb, not knowing how to start, fighting against her tears which threatened to spill out any moment now.
He opened his mouth to say something but then, instead of speaking,sensing her state of mind, he went ahead and hugged her.Wrapped her tightly in his arms.And she gave up.She hugged him back tightly and broke down.Seeing her cry, the pain took no time to travel across his face.He held her protectviely consoling her throughout thinking of every possible reason that could have made her upset.Only he not aware of what it actually was.
After a long time,she finally stopped and let go of him, as her senses brought her back from where she had been captivated for once by her love for him.
He made her sit down on the pavement dividing the terrace into two part and asked her softly taking her hand into his, "Baby,now tell what is it?"
She couldn't even look up to him, forget speaking.
"Tell me love, what happened?Everything ok?"
Ok?NO!Nothing is ok.My world just felt apart yesterday after what i saw.And today i am going to end our relationship.I cried the entire night yesterday,woke up to a terrible me this morning and broke down here in front of you just now because of the inner turmoil i am going through!NOTHING IS OK!she wanted to shout this out loud yet no words came out of her mouth.She sat there silently looking down, not able to meet his gaze.
Seeing no reply coming from her,he understood she was not in a state to speak and needed to be comforted , put his hand around her shoulder and tilted his head against hers.His gesture weakened her entirely.
"Is there something you ought to tell me?" she asked him now, resting her head on his shoulders,crushing herself as tightly as she could against him,wanting him to stay that way forever although she knew just a few moments more and they would be apart forever.
"Evrything you know sweetheart.Nothing that i have to tell."
"Think again.You might be just missing out on something."
"No baby.Nothing."
"Did i ever hurt you?" she asked,her voice beginning to tremble,tears rollling out once again.
"Never baby.You never did...." he trailed off sensing this was something to do with him and then spoke again...
"But i do have hurt you earlier quite a few times and this time again your tears have something to do with me.Right?" He held her more tightly now.
Ok.Now speak up and tell him everything.It will be now or never.She commanded.
"Yes" a voice came out,as inaudible as it could be from her.
"Please tell me what?"
"why are you this way?Stop being so caring and considerate or else i will never be able to say anything."
"I can't stop being considerate about you.Tell me what has happened?"
"Ok.Fine.i have to be hard now and i will."she replied firmly as she raised her head from his shoulder and stood up from where she was sitting to face him.She wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand and the dissension began.
No comments:
Post a Comment