The voices in my head have a life of their own. But where did these voices come from and why is it getting so hard to make them quiet? Why are these voices taking over my senses? Why this clash between heart and mind today? Or is it just a reality check?
There are no answers.
The fact is that sometimes these voices are a lot of self-judgements. Hence, it becomes nearly impossible to push them away. Sometimes, we all need to face the TRUTH- which comes as a gracing shower and washes away the layers of deceptiveness that we have been carrying all this while.
Unfortunately, the truth that the voices in my head were trying to bring in front of me today was very bitter. It was as awful as it could be. My all-time positive and happy-go-lucky attitude was being questioned today. They constantly hit me and forced me to doubt if I am genuinely happy or do I simply try to cover the pain of unreciprocated love? Has this huge smile of mine always been there so that I could fit in with the people around? I was completely baffled. Too much negativity hitting upon me made me feel terrible and left me bewildered.
I took a pause.
After an hour of deep conversation with my inner self and continuous trials to unshackle myself from this mental fatigue, I realised how dissatisfied I have been from the people and things around me all this while and how much fake attitude I have beholden. Tears paved their way. The songs of optimism that I keep singing are not out of true bliss but out of the shattered pieces of my emotions. The grief of disintegration had risen to a degree where it required false satisfaction and cheerfulness. All these miserable feelings left me downhearted and I sat on my bean bag frozen.
Loads of love,
Author 'Div'
There are no answers.
The fact is that sometimes these voices are a lot of self-judgements. Hence, it becomes nearly impossible to push them away. Sometimes, we all need to face the TRUTH- which comes as a gracing shower and washes away the layers of deceptiveness that we have been carrying all this while.
Unfortunately, the truth that the voices in my head were trying to bring in front of me today was very bitter. It was as awful as it could be. My all-time positive and happy-go-lucky attitude was being questioned today. They constantly hit me and forced me to doubt if I am genuinely happy or do I simply try to cover the pain of unreciprocated love? Has this huge smile of mine always been there so that I could fit in with the people around? I was completely baffled. Too much negativity hitting upon me made me feel terrible and left me bewildered.
I took a pause.
After an hour of deep conversation with my inner self and continuous trials to unshackle myself from this mental fatigue, I realised how dissatisfied I have been from the people and things around me all this while and how much fake attitude I have beholden. Tears paved their way. The songs of optimism that I keep singing are not out of true bliss but out of the shattered pieces of my emotions. The grief of disintegration had risen to a degree where it required false satisfaction and cheerfulness. All these miserable feelings left me downhearted and I sat on my bean bag frozen.
Loads of love,
Author 'Div'
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